Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Dadpost: Baby Fingernails

I'm starting to think that Hannah might be Wolverine.

Now before you get all Comic Book Guy on me, hear me out: they're both Canadian, they both don't do what you tell them to do, and they both possess incredible sharp claws.

And after Hannah sunk her fingers into my hand for the eleventy billionth time this morning, I think I might call Marvel to get a distribution deal done.

Oh sure, she might look all sweet and innocent, but just like our X-Man friend, those claws could cut through a man like a hot knife through butter.

I clip them every time we give her a bath, but that only serves to make them even more razor sharp. Even filing seems to sharpen them further.

Mohs Scale of Hardness might list fingernails as a 2.5, but that's clearly just a human average, because baby fingernails are somewhere around an 11.

I'm confident that Hannah's nails could scratch diamond, and would scratch adamantium if that actually existed.

If she ever learns to do the Berserker Barrage, we're all doomed.

To check out more posts from my boyfriend Chris, please visit his blog Below the Mendoza Line.

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